The Emotions Inside
by PrinceCaitie
Summary: The negative and pessimistic Tulio feels upset one night, until he tells Miguel his true inner feelings about himself. Tulio finally has the courage to tell his friend his true thoughts and worries that has been making him so negative and upset all the time. Miguel/Tulio, One-Shot. First fanfic.


It was a dark, late night in the streets and everyone in the town was asleep resting peacefully watching as dreams played in their heads. It was a quiet night. Meanwhile Miguel and Tulio were sleeping upon a pile of hay in a stable, resting next to each other with a blanket to share, both the con-men had no where else to sleep moving from place to place each night, this time being a stable.

Miguel was sleeping peacefully, the optimistic of the two had a bright smile upon his face as he slept as a spot of drool slipped out his smiling mouth. He was curled up in a ball, conserving his body heat and was comfortable as he slept. Tulio was still awake, looking up at the stable roof with a frown upon his face with his arms resting beside his body.

Tulio was the pessimist of the two, the worrier and looked in the negative sides of things. He always saw the glass half empty unlike Miguel who was a positive, optimistic person always seeing the bright side of things. Tulio was battling depression for years now and he didn't understand why he felt a certain way. Scamming caused him to worry, leading to him becoming anxious a lot of the time and overall feeling just negative, but he did what he had to do to survive even if he didn't feel like living at some moments in his life.

Yes, he was a depressed even sometimes suicidal person but one person who kept him living was Miguel. He always had a happy expression upon his face, he was always beaming and was always positive about everything that came to them. He was Tulio's partner, he's friend, his con-buddy that he always stuck with ever since he was a teenager, they could never be broken apart.

Tulio was still lying in a pile of hay wide awake, looking up to the roof and feeling very upset. He didn't like where his life was going, he had a feeling that he would end up dead sooner or later by being caught after stealing so much. He thought why would why would he wait until his upcoming death when he could die right now? The only thing that was stopping him however was Miguel, he would probably be so upset.

Tulio kept thinking about his life. He didn't do anything exciting, he was always a peasant going no-where in life, just like his father had said. Miguel still kept him going though, he was like a ray of sunshine always permanently there with him. He put his hand over his face and stretched it out, pulling his hand down to the chin letting out a big sigh. He tossed over to the left, looking over at the wooden panels that stretched around the barn, hearing the soft sounds of animals sleeping.

He couldn't stand living sad and never having the courage to tell anyone about how he felt. The only person he could trust was Miguel obviously but he couldn't think of how to tell him. He let out another large sigh and he was already beginning to tear up as multiple thoughts raced through his head; how he wanted to die, until he thought of Miguel yet again. He was confused and angry, not knowing what to do about his life, he knew he was going no-where but he was still alive even though he didn't want to be. He kicked some pile of hay with an angry grunt coming out of his mouth, only just realising how loud the hay landed. Miguel shuffled next to him as his eyes began to open slowly as he moved his body.

'Morning already?' Miguel asked in a tired voice, as he blinked a couple of times to get used to his surroundings. He noticed it was still dark and he let out a sigh of relief, knowing he didn't have to quickly run out of the barn early in the morning in case of being caught by the barn owner. Tulio stared at him, tears still in his eyes as he tried to wipe them away trying to make Miguel not notice that he had been crying slightly.

'Tulio, are you alright?' Miguel asked with concern, moving closer to his friend on the same pile of hay. Tulio darted his eyes to the floor and nervously chuckled.

'Haha, w-what do you mean? Yeah, I'm fine,' Tulio replied, not trying to look at his friend in the eyes.

'You're lying,' Miguel replied quickly with a grin. Tulio gave up and sighed, smiling back and said 'You know me too well,'

'Well, what's the matter? I'm all ears,' Miguel asked, smiling at his partner, leaning back into the pile of hay, feeling pretty relaxed.

'Well, I don't know how to explain it. But I will try, I guess,' Tulio replied, not having to put on a fake facial expression he sometimes did when he truly felt upset.

'I don't know why and I-I honestly don't know how but life is just draining for me. I don't know how to explain it but I just have been feeling sad all the time,' Tulio said with a sad expression. 'S-sometimes I feel like I'm just worthless,'

'Oh, come on Tulio, you definitely aren't worthless,' Miguel replied with a smile upon his face, until he realised that Tulio was almost on the verge of tears. He felt upset, Miguel didn't know what to do. He continued to listen to what his partner had to say, he opened his eyes wide and became even more concerned as his partner continued on talking.

'I am. I'm going no-where in life and I'm just so tired of feeling so upset all the time. I don't know why I'm like this, it's all so confusing,' Tulio replied raising his voice, in an emotional and angry tone. 'I know, I probably sound stupid or something but I can't live this life full of negativity and worrisome, I'm just always so upset,'

Miguel had never seen his partner cry, never at all. Tulio wasn't very emotional, only ever when something absolutely amazing happened. But at that very moment, tears began to run down Tulio's cheeks, small tears that Miguel had never ever seen before.

'I hate myself sometimes, Miguel. Most of the time. I don't know why you would even hang out with me, I'm just a big waste of time. I hate how negative I am and I hate how I'm always so sad. I hate how worried I get and I can't stop thinking about how I'm just... Pathetic,' Tulio said wiping a few tears away from his eyes.

'Tulio, you are far from pathetic,'

'That's what my father said. He said I was going no-where and that I'm a useless nobody, he was right,' Tulio muttered, staring down at the ground avoiding eye contact.

'Tulio-'

'I-I should just kill myself!' Tulio said looking up from the ground staring directly into Miguel's eyes in a slightly louder tone. Silence. That was all that there was, just silence. Tulio breathed heavily and sighed deeply, putting his elbows on his knees and looking towards the ground again. Miguel was shocked and absolutely surprised to hear those words come out of his friends mouth. He didn't want his best friend to die, never and hearing those words truly upset Miguel, making him feel his heart sink. Miguel inched slightly closer to his friend, so their knees were touching and he stayed silent for a moment, trying to take everything in. He looked directly straight ahead at Tulio who still had his head tiled down looking at the ground as few tears went down his cheek, with his eyes closed breathing quite heavily.

'Tulio... Why did you never tell me this before?' Miguel asked in a soft tone, staring at his partner with deep concern.

Tulio bit his lip and titled his head slightly to the left, thinking for a slight moment.

'Because... I was afraid. I just thought that maybe, just maybe, I could actually become happy by pretending to be happy some of the time. It didn't work. I was afraid to tell you because I didn't want you to see me like.. This!' Tulio replied, pointing to himself. He had tear stains on his shirt and his eyes were still watering, he was sniffling while his nose was running.

'Tulio, you don't deserve to die. Do you know what would happened if you did?' Miguel asked. Tulio shook his head.

'I wouldn't know what to do. I would be lost and lonely without you, I would feel too upset to do anything everyday if you were to just disappear. You mean a lot to me,'

'I'm just an annoyance, a waste of time and space,'

'No you are not Tulio!' Miguel replied raising his voice which surprised Tulio. 'Tulio, I know I don't understand how you feel, I'm a very optimistic person. I just know you shouldn't kill yourself because you think your an annoyance and waste of time, when you aren't. You are the best thing that was to ever happen to me,'

'Sure...'

'I am serious Tulio. You are my partner and I will stick with you no matter what. You are the most important person in the entire universe and I don't want you to ever kill yourself. You have so much to look forward to in life and I would just be so lost without you, Tulio,' Miguel replied, putting his arm around his friends shoulder and staring at his partner with a serious expression.

Tulio sniffed and wiped his eyes with his blue, shirt sleeve, slightly smiling. He pushed his messy hair back and rubbed his face one more time, taking a look at how concerned Miguel was. His eyes were wide and his pupils were darted directly towards his own face, he was biting his lip and overall looked very serious. Miguel truly meant those words he had said.

Tulio buried his face on Miguel's head and began to tear up yet again, but not because of sadness but because of joy. He sniffed a few times and mumbled 'T-thank-you... Thank-you so much Miguel,'

Miguel patted his partner on the back as Tulio let out his last sobs giving him a warm hug to make him feel better. He had never seen Tulio so expressionate when it came to sadness before and he was finally able to see his true feelings that he only ever expressed on the inside. Miguel felt relieved to know that he was now able to know what Tulio had been truly thinking.

Tulio lifted his head and he let go of his friend, staring at him with a large smile.

'Now, Tulio, if you ever feel like this again please tell me. Tell me anything you want to and I will do the best I can to help you. Just please tell me whenever you're upset or have any problems on your mind,' Miguel said raising his eyebrow eyeing his partner.

'Of course, I definitely will in the future,' Tulio said with a chuckle, putting his hand on his friends shoulder. 'I'm really sorry I never told you any of this before,'

'It's alright, no need to apologise. I can understand how hard it must've been to express your feelings,' Miguel replied with a small smile.

'You have no idea,' Tulio replied with a smile. 'And thank-you. You are honestly the best friend I could ever ask for,'

'And you are too,' Miguel said beaming. 'I guess it's time we should head to sleep,'

Tulio yawned and nodded, lying back down on the pile of hay resting next to his partner side by side. Miguel turned over to face Tulio as he slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep. Miguel began to snore, indicating that he had indeed fallen asleep. Tulio looked down at his partners hand which was resting right near where his hand was. His fingers crawled over the hay and he slowly grabbed onto Miguel's fingers, wrapping them around his friends hand whispering in the smallest voice 'I love you,'

Tulio closed his eyes and fell asleep already dreaming away, while Miguel smiled and opened his eyes whispering back 'I love you too,'


End file.
